The Silent Struggle in Womens Leadership

I still remember the excitement of landing my first leadership role at just 24 years old. I was working for Debenhams on Oxford Street—the heart of London—and I was over the moon. At the time, Debenhams was the Queen of the High Street, and I felt like I had made it. I was managing my very first team member, Mark, and I couldn’t wait to prove myself as a capable leader.

But as much as I loved my job, there was something else driving me that I didn’t fully understand at the time. Every day, I’d be at my desk by 7 a.m., feeling an electric thrill of excitement from being there early. I stayed late, was super hard on myself if I made a mistake and consistently tried to go the extra mile.

It wasn’t until I moved into the space of coaching and therapy that I learnt that this “buzz” of working long hours was a dopamine hit, and what was driving my behaviour was a deep need to prove myself.

The Dopamine Trap and Burnout

Dopamine is the brain’s pleasure hormone, and it’s highly addictive. We often create these unhealthy patterns—like working long hours or saying yes to every project—because we’ve anchored a feeling to that dopamine hit. For me, it was getting to work early and staying late, feeling like I was ahead of the game. For others, it might be answering emails on holiday or taking on way too much at once.

But here’s the thing: that dopamine hit is part of what leads to burnout. We get stuck in a cycle of unhealthy behaviours, all in the name of proving ourselves. And the more we push, the more exhausted we become.

Looking back, I can see that my younger self was driven and capable. But so much of my behaviour came from a deep need to prove that I was enough.

And here’s the truth: that drive to prove yourself—while it can lead to great achievements—often comes at the cost of your health, well-being, and happiness.

Perfectionism, Over-Preparation, and Exhaustion

What I’ve learned, both from my own journey and from coaching hundreds of incredible women in leadership, is that the higher you climb, the worse it can get. The more responsibility you take on, the more you feel like you have to prove yourself. I’ve seen it time and time again in senior business leaders and directors—amazing women who have accomplished so much but secretly feel like they’re not good enough.

They carry this constant fear that one day, someone will tap them on the shoulder and say, “We made a mistake. You weren’t supposed to get this job.”

Does that sound familiar?

For many women, it’s not about whether they’re competent or capable—they are. But no matter how much praise or positive feedback they receive, it doesn’t seem to stick. It’s like Teflon—it just slides off. Why? Because they’re stuck in an old identity.

The Identity Problem: Where It All Began

The women I work with often come to realise that they’re operating from an identity that was formed when they were children. These old beliefs, like “I’m not good enough” or “I'm not clever enough” are deeply ingrained in their subconscious minds. And as long as these old patterns are running the show, no amount of external success will fill the void.

This is why many of the women I work with have tried executive coaching, leadership development programmes, or affirmations, and while they may have seen some improvement, something still feels stuck.

Often, a big part of the problem comes from childhood experiences and trauma—the messages they received growing up that formed these limiting beliefs.

Affirmations Aren’t Enough (And Why That’s Okay)

Affirmations are great, but if you’re not feeling them on a deeper level, they won’t create lasting change. You can say, “I am good enough,” 50 times a day, but if your body is still in survival mode—if you’re still in the habit of overworking and overthinking, or holding onto trauma—it’s not going to stick.

Knowing you are enough isn’t just something you tell yourself; it’s something you need to embody. It’s a feeling. It’s about rewiring the way you experience yourself, both physically and mentally. Just like working with a personal trainer strengthens your muscles, working on your mindset strengthens your belief in yourself. The more you practice embodying confidence and self-worth, the more it becomes part of who you are. And when that happens, everything shifts.

The Transformations I’ve Witnessed

I’ve seen this transformation in the women I work with. They go from feeling exhausted and unsure of themselves to stepping into their power and owning their worth. I’ve had clients who ditched imposter syndrome, earned promotions, and became top performers in their organisations. One client who struggled with imposter syndrome for years has now been promoted twice and is the top salesperson in her company.

"I've worked with Sara to cure imposter syndrome. I cannot recommend working with Sara enough, she always manges to help you get right to the heart of any issue and helps you make profound changes that will make an lasting impact to your life. Since working with Sara I have been promoted twice!" - Fran

These changes aren’t just about feeling good for a few days. They’re about long-term transformation—about what happens when you finally let go of the need to prove yourself and step into who you truly are.

So, What’s Standing Between You and Where You Want to Be?

It’s not your ability. It’s not your job title or your team. It’s your identity. 

Imagine a life where... You no longer carry the weight of not being good enough. Where you walk into meetings with confidence, speaking with ease and grace. Where you’ve healed from past traumas, and instead of feeling trapped by emotional overload, you feel lighter, free, and excited about the future and your career. Imagine handling stress like a pro, not letting it control you, but knowing exactly what to do to stay calm and centred. Your energy is renewed, your motivation is back, and you’re not just surviving—you’re thriving.

You will experience this and more when we work together!