The Confidence Myth | Why Even Successful Women Feel Like They're Not Enough

You’ve made it. You’re in a leadership position, earning a great salary, and by all external measures, you’re successful. But instead of feeling secure and proud, there’s this voice in the back of your mind telling you that you’re not enough—that you’ve somehow fooled everyone into believing you’re capable.

If this sounds familiar, know that you’re not alone. Many successful women in leadership positions struggle with this same feeling of inadequacy.

But here’s the truth: You can change the beliefs about who you think you are.

Beliefs Are Not Hardwired

The way you think about yourself, the doubts you carry, the belief that you’re not good enough—these aren’t fixed traits. You weren’t born with them. They’re learned patterns of thinking, often shaped by early experiences or traumas. And just as these beliefs were learned, they can be unlearned.

You’re not hardwired to feel this way for the rest of your life. One of the most liberating truths is that the brain is malleable, and capable of rewiring itself. Through neuroplasticity, you can shift these limiting beliefs and step into a more empowered, confident version of yourself.

How Stress Traps You in Survival Mode

As women in leadership, we often put artificial pressure on ourselves to perform, succeed, and prove our worth. This pressure, combined with feelings of self-doubt, triggers a stress response in the body. When you're in this state, you're not operating from your most empowered self. You’re operating from survival mode.

The Three Brains at Play: Let’s talk about the brain for a moment. We have three major areas that shape how we function:

1. Neocortex – The rational, thinking brain, where executive functions like planning, reasoning, and problem-solving occur.
2. Limbic Brain – The emotional brain, is responsible for regulating emotions and the autonomic nervous system (which controls your body's stress response).
3. Reptilian Brain – The survival brain, which governs our most basic, instinctual responses like fight, flight, or freeze.

When you're filled with self-doubt, fear, or anxiety, it’s your reptilian brain that takes control. This is why you may find yourself overthinking every decision, worrying about what others think, or catastrophising about worst-case scenarios.

You’re in survival mode, not leadership mode. And when your leadership is driven by survival instincts, you're not accessing the full range of your intelligence, creativity, and vision.

Your Nervous System Is Key to Unlocking Calm Leadership

One of the most important elements of transforming this survival response is regulating your autonomic nervous system. The limbic brain controls your heart rate, blood pressure, hormone levels, and emotional responses. When you’re stuck in self-doubt and worry, this part of the brain keeps you in a constant sympathetic response—the fight-or-flight mode.

But here’s the good news! You can learn to calm your nervous system. When you feel calm in your body, your mind can relax, too. You’ll find it easier to think clearly, make better decisions, and access the full potential of your neocortex, the rational part of your brain.

Leadership becomes easier when your body and mind aren’t in survival mode.

I know this because I’ve been where you are.

For years, I lived with this invisible pressure to prove myself in the corporate world. I would over-prepare for meetings, work long hours, and constantly second-guess my decisions.

But what I didn’t realise at the time was that I was stuck in survival mode. I was living from my reptilian brain, always trying to stay one step ahead of the imagined judgment or failure. It wasn’t until I started learning about the mind-body connection, through psychotherapy and hypnotherapy, that I began to understand how to calm my nervous system and now have the joy of sharing that with the women I work with to empower them.

The Role of Emotions in Leadership

Our emotions are powerful—they’re a record of the past. If you find yourself reacting emotionally to similar situations again and again, it’s likely because you’re operating from an old emotional blueprint. Whether it’s anger, frustration, guilt, or shame, these emotions are signals pointing to where you’re still stuck in old beliefs.

For example, if you always feel impatient when things don’t go perfectly at work, that’s your perfectionism and self-doubt surfacing, keeping you locked in a pattern of trying to prove yourself.

But here’s the thing, you can change this. When you begin to recognise your emotional patterns, you can interrupt them. You can choose to focus on different thoughts and create new emotional responses. This is where the real work begins—because when you change the way you think and feel, you change your electromagnetic signature.

The Electromagnetic Signature of Leadership

We’re not just physical beings; we’re energetic beings. Our thoughts, emotions, and beliefs create a unique energy that we send out into the world—this is our electromagnetic signature.

And people around us feel it. It’s why you can walk into a room and immediately pick up on someone’s vibe—whether they’re confident, calm, or stressed.

As a leader, what kind of energy do you want to project? When you interact with your team, what do you want them to feel? Leadership isn’t just about what you say or do—it’s about the energy you bring.

When you learn to calm your nervous system and shift your beliefs, you’ll naturally start to radiate an energy of confidence, ease, and clarity. People will respond to this, not because of your words, but because of the way they feel around you.

Your beliefs about yourself can be changed. You don’t have to live in survival mode, driven by doubt and fear. By learning to regulate your nervous system, interrupt old emotional patterns, and shift your energy, you can step into a leadership style that feels authentic, empowered, and aligned with who you truly are.

If you’re ready to break free from self-doubt and lead from a place of calm confidence, let’s talk!