Can Happiness Be Measured?

 Can Happiness Be Measured?

After more than a decade of working with thousands of clients in one-to-one sessions, there’s one theme I’ve heard over and over again:

“I just want to feel happier.”

It sounds so simple. And yet, when I gently ask,
“What will let you know that you're feeling happier more of the time?”
…there’s often a pause. Silence. A furrowed brow. And then something like,
“I’m not sure.”

And it’s not because people don’t want happiness—they absolutely do.
It’s because we’ve been so conditioned to focus on what we don’t want.

“I don’t want to feel anxious.”
“I don’t want to keep second-guessing myself.”
“I don’t want to feel like an imposter.”
“I don’t want to feel pressure all the time.”
“I don’t want to be stuck in this job forever.”
“I don’t want to feel constantly on edge.”
“I don’t want to work all the hours under the sun.”
“I don’t want to be in this state of high alert every day.”

We become experts at listing what we want to avoid. But when I ask someone to imagine a version of themselves waking up tomorrow genuinely feeling happy…
…to describe what that looks like, sounds like, feels like?

That’s where things get tricky.

Even when people begin to describe that new reality, they’ll often default back to the familiar:

“But the problem is…”
“But I just can’t imagine it.”
“But what if it doesn’t last?”

And when I bring them back—gently—to the vision of their happier life, they’ll often laugh and say, “Gosh, this is hard!”

And they’re right. Because for most of us, our minds have been so well trained to focus on what’s wrong, what’s missing, what hasn’t been solved yet.

But here’s the thing I always remind my clients of:

If you’ve been asking yourself whether happiness can be measured… the answer is yes. But not in the way you’ve been taught.

So… Can Happiness Be Measured?

Yes. But not with data points. Not with metrics.
Happiness is a feeling. And feelings don’t live in spreadsheets.

You either feel it—or you don’t.

It’s not about being happy all the time. It’s about recognising when you’re in alignment with that feeling, and when something is blocking you from it.

And perhaps most importantly—it’s about realising that happiness isn’t something you have to create. It’s something you return to.
Because happiness is innate. Just like peace. Calm. Joy. Contentment.
They’re always there. Underneath the noise.

The Teddy Bear Effect

Let me give you a simple example I often share with clients.

Imagine a small child with their favourite teddy bear.

They hug that bear and instantly feel safe. Calm. Reassured. Happy.
They believe—wholeheartedly—that the bear is causing those feelings.
That without the bear, those feelings can’t exist.

But as adults, we can see that it’s not really the bear, is it?

It’s not the stuffing or the stitching or the fluff that creates calmness or comfort.
The feelings are coming from the child. The teddy bear just serves as a symbol, a trigger, a reminder of safety.

Now here’s where it gets interesting:

We’ve just swapped teddy bears for more “grown-up” versions—

The job.
The house.
The partner.
The money.
The car.
The body.
The holidays.

We believe those things are the source of our happiness.

But the truth is, they’re not.

They’re just teddy bears in disguise.

The real source of happiness is always within us.
We’ve just forgotten. Or been taught to believe otherwise.

The Trap of “I’ll Be Happy When…”

We live in a world that feeds the illusion that happiness lives in the future.
That you’ll feel it once you’ve…

Got the promotion
Bought the house
Lost the weight
Met your soulmate
Published your book
Earned six figures
“Made it”

And sure, those things might feel great in the moment. But they’re not sustainable sources of happiness.

Because the moment you hit one goal, your mind latches onto the next.
And the next. And the next.

It’s a treadmill disguised as a path.

And don’t get me wrong—there’s nothing wrong with wanting more.
But when happiness is contingent on the next thing, it becomes endlessly out of reach.

What If Happiness Is Already Here?

Several years ago, I spent a month in Bali.
I remember thinking, “I’ve never met so many genuinely happy people in my life.”

At first, I wondered if they were just being polite. But over time, I saw it wasn’t a performance—it was a presence.

They had very little in material terms. And yet their smiles were wide. Their spirits were grounded. Their joy was real.

It made me realise how deeply we’ve been conditioned to believe we need more to be happy.

More status. More stuff. More certainty.
When maybe, the real question isn’t “What will make me happy?”
…but rather:
“What’s taking me away from the happiness that’s already here?”

5 Powerful Ways to Tap Into Your Innate Happiness

Through my work with thousands of clients, I’ve seen the same truth again and again:

Happiness isn’t something you need to find. It’s something you need to come home to.

Here are five ways to start returning to it.

1. Reframe Where Happiness Comes From

The teddy bear analogy is a perfect reminder that feelings come from within you—not from the object itself.

Try this simple practice:

Bring to mind someone or something you love deeply.
Place your hand on your heart.
Smile as you feel into that image.
Let yourself linger there.

Your body responds by producing oxytocin—the love hormone. And with that comes a natural sense of warmth, connection, and (you guessed it)… happiness.

This isn’t wishful thinking. It’s neurochemistry.
And it’s always available to you.

2. Practise Gratitude (Genuinely)

Gratitude is one of the quickest paths back to happiness—not because it’s a trend, but because it works.

Dr. Robert Emmons, a leading researcher on gratitude, found that people who regularly practice gratitude experience higher levels of optimism, energy, and emotional wellbeing.

Start small.

When you wake up, list three things you’re grateful for.
The warmth of your bed.
The softness of your pillow.
The sunlight coming through the window (unless you live in Scotland like me and you might have to imagine it!)

It’s not about grand gestures—it’s about presence and consistency.  Where you place your focus of attention is where your energy flows.

3. Understand Where Your Experience Comes From

Much like the teddy bear effect, we often think our emotions are coming from outside events:

“That email stressed me out.”
“That comment ruined my day.”
“That situation made me feel anxious.”

But the truth is, your thoughts create your feelings. Always.

That doesn’t mean your emotions aren’t valid—it just means they’re internally generated, not externally imposed.

Your brain is constantly filtering and interpreting the world.
Once you start to see this, everything changes.

You realise that you’re not at the mercy of life—you’re in conversation with it.

4. Change the Story You’re Telling

Do you spend more time talking about what’s not working than what is?

We all do it—retelling the stressful story, venting, spiralling into “what ifs.”
But every time you repeat that narrative, your body responds. Your chemistry shifts.

Words matter. Attention matters.

When I work with clients, we don’t ignore the problem—we acknowledge it. But then we move into deeper questions:

“What do you want instead?”
“What would that feel like?”
“What becomes possible from that place?”

These questions act like keys—unlocking a new experience from the inside out.

5. Reconnect with the Natural World

Nature isn’t just good for the soul—it’s vital for your nervous system.

Even 10 minutes of fresh air can re-regulate your energy.
Sunlight boosts serotonin. Movement activates endorphins.
And being in a natural setting gives your mind a break from the constant scroll.

Put your phone down. Step outside.
Listen to the birds. Feel the air. Watch the trees. Let your system settle.

This is presence. This is connection. This is happiness—without needing anything to change.

So... How Do You Measure Happiness?

Not by your job title. Not by your bank account. Not by someone else’s standards.

You measure happiness by how you feel—when the noise quiets and your true self emerges.

And if you’d love some help reconnecting with that feeling, I’ve created a free hypnosis download to guide you beyond the chatter of the mind and back into your innate wellbeing.

It’s not just a meditation—it’s a return.

[Click here to download your free hypnosis]
…and let yourself remember what’s always been there.