Leadership development training is often seen as the solution to creating confident, capable, and impactful leaders. For women in leadership, however, these programmes often fail to address the deeper issues driving imposter syndrome, burnout, and limiting beliefs.

When I worked in HR, I witnessed thousands of pounds being poured into these programmes, with very little to show for it. Senior leaders would attend multi-day courses, and when they returned, there was no noticeable shift in how they showed up or led their teams.

It always puzzled me - why didn’t these expensive, high-profile programmes deliver real change?

The answer lies in what these programmes focus on—and more importantly, what they overlook.

Why Leadership Training for Women Needs to Address Beliefs, Not Just Behaviours.

Our culture is deeply focused on behaviour, and leadership development programmes are no different. They teach strategies, frameworks, and communication styles, all designed to modify how leaders behave. But here’s the truth: behaviour isn’t the problem—it’s the symptom.

Behaviour is driven by beliefs and fears. If those underlying beliefs and fears remain unaddressed, no amount of training will create lasting change. Leaders may leave a course feeling inspired or motivated, but when they step back into the reality of their day-to-day lives, their conditioned patterns resurface. The real work isn’t about teaching new behaviours, it’s about transforming the fears and limiting beliefs that drive those behaviours in the first place.

Emotional Resilience - The Key to Leadership Growth for Women.

To create meaningful change, leaders need to do more than learn new strategies—they need to get to the root of what’s driving their behaviour. And that requires emotional digging.

Let me explain. Our beliefs and fears are shaped by our life experiences. Often, we don’t even realise the extent to which these experiences influence us. They operate like invisible scripts, stored deep in the subconscious, governing our actions and reactions without us realising it.

Take, for example, a woman in leadership who struggles to own her worth. She might people-please, avoid speaking up in meetings, or overwork herself to exhaustion trying to prove she’s capable. To the outside world, it might look like she’s just a perfectionist or someone with a strong work ethic. Her nervous system is stuck in survival mode, shaped by past experiences that taught her it wasn’t safe to be visible, to say no or to challenge the status quo.

A 2020 study by KPMG revealed that 75% of female executives across various industries have experienced feelings of inadequacy and self-doubt, commonly known as imposter syndrome, at certain points in their careers.

The Role of Safety in Leadership

At our core, as humans, we all need to feel safe. And for women in leadership, safety is a prerequisite for authenticity. If you don’t feel safe owning your worth, being visible, speaking up, or showing vulnerability, you’ll find ways to protect yourself. These protective behaviours might include:

• People-pleasing to avoid conflict or rejection.
• Overworking to prove your value and gain approval.
• Staying silent in meetings to avoid being judged.
• Avoiding risks or opportunities that might put you in the spotlight.

These patterns might be draining and exhausting, but they’re also keeping you safe—at least in your subconscious mind.

How Early Experiences Shape Leadership Behaviour

The roots of these self-sabotaging patterns often lie in early experiences, especially those that felt humiliating, frightening, or helpless. The nervous system remembers these incidents, storing them as trauma. And while we often think of trauma as something catastrophic, it can be far more subtle.

I’ve worked with hundreds of clients whose patterns of behaviour were shaped by seemingly small, everyday incidents. For example, I’ve worked with women who grew up in Ireland, where strict teachers would humiliate students who challenged authority. One client shared how, as a child, she was made to stand in the corner of the classroom, facing the wall, for getting an answer wrong. Others were publicly shamed in front of their peers. These moments may sound trivial to an outsider, but to a child, they feel terrifying and deeply unsafe.

My Own Experience with Childhood Trauma

I’ll never forget an incident from my childhood. I was in primary school, trying to impress a classmate by making her laugh. The teacher caught me fooling around, and as punishment, she made me stand in the middle of the playground—alone—where all the other classrooms could see me.

I was frozen, caught in the "freeze" response of the nervous system. I couldn’t run or hide. I remember feeling utterly exposed, mortified that a boy I liked could see me standing there. I felt helpless, humiliated, and deeply unsafe.

At the time, I didn’t realise how much that moment shaped me. But looking back, it’s clear how it contributed to patterns of perfectionism and a fear of being visible. It taught me that visibility was dangerous, that mistakes would lead to humiliation, and that not being authentic was the safest way to avoid being hurt.

The Body Keeps Score

As I’ve learned through my work, the body keeps the score. These early experiences leave an imprint on the nervous system, creating patterns that persist into adulthood. The beliefs and behaviours that once helped us survive as children—staying quiet, being "perfect," avoiding visibility—become the very things that hold us back as adults.

And unless these patterns are addressed at their root, they’ll continue to run the show. Leadership development programmes can’t change these patterns because they don’t go deep enough. They focus on behaviour, not on the underlying beliefs and fears stored in the body.

Breaking the Cycle

If you recognise yourself in these patterns, it’s important to know that change is possible. But it requires more than just learning new strategies—it requires transforming the beliefs and fears that are holding you back. This is why my Empowered Women in Leadership programme is so powerful.  My proven techniques are backed by neuroscience and designed to help women in leadership achieve sustainable emotional resilience and peak performance.

They help you uncover the subconscious blocks, address the core fears, and create safety within your nervous system so that you can step into authentic leadership with confidence.

A Final Thought

Leadership isn’t just about behaviour—it’s about who you are at your core. And for women in leadership, true authenticity, visibility, and self-worth can only come when you feel safe to show up as yourself.

If you’ve been feeling exhausted, overworked, or stuck in self-sabotaging patterns, it’s not a failure on your part. It’s your nervous system doing its best to keep you safe based on old experiences. But those patterns don’t have to define you.

You deserve to lead from a place of confidence and alignment, free from the fears and beliefs that have been holding you back. That’s exactly what we work on in my Empowered Women in Leadership Blueprint Programme. In this six-month programme, we dive deep into the psyche to uncover and disarm the limiting beliefs running the show. We use transformational tools to release old patterns and create a sense of safety within, so you can lead with energy, self-belief, and true confidence.

If you’re ready to break free from self-sabotage and step into authentic leadership, schedule a call now. Your next level is waiting. Are you ready to step into it?