The Hidden Cost of Perfectionism in Leadership

I hear it all the time - 'I’m a bit of a perfectionist.'

For many women in leadership, it’s almost a badge of honour—a sign of high standards and commitment to excellence. Maybe you’ve said it yourself, brushing it off as a throwaway comment. Or maybe, deep down, you sense that there’s something more to it.

The truth is, that perfectionism comes at a cost—one that impacts your energy, your confidence, and your ability to truly thrive.

This isn’t about lowering your standards or telling you to stop caring about doing a great job. I know you take pride in your work—you wouldn’t be where you are if you didn’t. But perfectionism is something different. It’s not just about wanting to do your best; it’s about striving for impossible standards, often at a cost to your mental and emotional well-being.

It’s about tying your self-worth to how perfect you can appear to others. And it runs so much deeper than you might realise.

The Hidden Costs of Perfectionism

You may think perfectionism helps you get ahead, but it often has the opposite effect. It leaves you exhausted, paralysed by overthinking, and stuck in cycles of procrastination because “it’s not good enough yet.” The report that takes hours longer than it should because you’re tweaking every last detail. The presentation you rewrite five times because you’re terrified it might not land. The sleepless nights spent replaying a conversation, wondering if you could have said it better.

Sound familiar?

Perfectionism holds you back in ways that might feel invisible at first but become undeniable over time. It leads to:

• Burnout: Constantly pushing yourself to meet impossible standards leaves you running on empty.
• Procrastination: Fear of imperfection can make it hard to even start a task, let alone finish it.
• Self-doubt: No matter how much you achieve, it never feels like enough.
• Lost opportunities: When you hold back, waiting for something to be “perfect,” you often miss the chance to shine.

Why Perfectionism Runs Deeper Than You Think

Perfectionism isn’t just a habit—it’s a story. It’s a story written deep in your nervous system, often starting in childhood. For many women, it’s a story of trying to prove your worth to someone—maybe a parent, a teacher, or even yourself.

I’ll share my story. I grew up with a father who was present in many ways—he worked hard, provided for us, and took us on family trips. But emotionally, he was distant. As a child, I worked so hard to win his approval, to hear him say “I’m proud of you.” Even into adulthood, I found myself striving to prove my worth to him, to make him see my achievements.

What I didn’t realise for years was how that dynamic had shaped me. It created a belief that I had to work harder than anyone else to be good enough. That belief drove me to over-prepare, over-deliver, and strive for impossible standards—but at the cost of my time, energy, and peace of mind.

How Perfectionism Shows Up in Leadership

As a leader, perfectionism might look like:

• Struggling to delegate because “no one will do it as well as I can.”
• Taking on too much and saying yes when you should say no.
• Over-preparing for meetings or presentations, even when you already know your stuff.
• Constantly second-guessing your decisions, fearing you’ll get it wrong.
• Feeling like you have to prove yourself every single day, even though you’ve already earned your seat at the table.

But here’s the good news: perfectionism isn’t who you are. It’s a pattern—one you’ve learned over time. And like any pattern, it can be unlearned.

Why Healing Your Nervous System Is the Key

Perfectionism isn’t just in your head—it’s stored in your nervous system. When we’ve spent years striving for approval or avoiding criticism, those experiences leave a mark. They create patterns of fear and self-doubt that feel automatic and hard to shake.

The first step to breaking free is recognising that these patterns aren’t personal. They’re not a reflection of your worth or your abilities—they’re simply learned behaviours.

When I work with women in leadership, we start by uncovering these stories and patterns. Through techniques like hypnosis and somatic work, we heal the trauma stored in the nervous system and rewire the brain to create new, empowering patterns.

The transformation is profound. These women go from feeling stuck in perfectionism to feeling confident and capable. They trust themselves to show up authentically, without the constant need to prove their worth.

What Would It Feel Like to Let Go of Perfectionism?

Imagine walking into a meeting without second-guessing yourself.
Imagine trusting your team to deliver without micromanaging every detail.
Imagine ending your workday feeling proud of what you’ve accomplished instead of being drained and doubting yourself.

This is what’s possible when you loosen perfectionism’s grip. You don’t lose your standards—you simply lose the fear and self-doubt that hold you back.

Ready to Rewrite the Story?

If you’ve recognised yourself in this article, know that you’re not alone. Perfectionism is common among high-achieving women, but it doesn’t have to define you.

If you’re ready to shed the weight of perfectionism and step into your full potential as a leader, let’s talk. My six-month Empowered Women in Leadership programme is designed to help women like you heal, grow, and thrive.

Take the first step today.