A Simple Way to Stop Having Difficult Conversations

If you were to search the internet for management development training courses, guaranteed you would find plenty out there labelled;

‘How to have difficult conversations‘ or

‘How to have challenging conversations‘

When it comes to having any kind of conversation, here’s the thing. The truth is, we have no idea what a conversation is going to be like because it’s not happened yet!

Instead, what what we do with our minds, is create an expectation of what we THINK the conversation is going to be like. We go back to all the data held in the memory storage of the brain and we sift for examples of previous conversations and events. Times when we had similar conversations and we recall how we felt. How the conversation unfolded. Who said what, and what the outcome was, how it felt us feeling.

We then take that data and we project it into the future. We make assumptions about the future ‘difficult’ conversation and we unconsciously teach the body what to expect, which potentially puts the body in survival mode. It’s like sending a signal to the body that this conversation may get out of hand, it may be unpredictable, and things may get heated. We’ve told the unconscious mind that there is going to be some level of conflict, that we have to be on our guard, we have to have our wits about us.

We’ve already started an inner dialogue about how we think things will unfold and it’s likely played that future event out in our minds. The mind and body don’t know what’s real and what’s imagination, so engaging the mind this way puts us in survival mode before the conversation has even taken place.

And as a result, that impacts how we show up to the conversation. We want to feel calm, in control, relaxed, comfortable and any similar emotions. Instead, we’re prepared for battle.

You may experience this as a sense of anticipation, dread, your heart racing, sweaty palms, tension, your stomach churning or similar.

What if there was a different way?

What if you could discover a simple way to stop having ‘difficult conversations’?

Click on this short video clip from our mental health training for managers to find out how!

“I’ve had conversations with people, and I’ve spoken differently with them and afterwards I’ve recognised I’ve spoken differently – a subconscious change in myself that I’d never spoken like that before” – Sofology Manager

Communication skills are everything when facilitating great conversations about mental health. If you would love to teach your managers about how to have great connected conversations with their team let’s jump on a call!